Showing vs. Telling

Most aspiring writers have heard the phrase “Show, don’t tell” when it comes to writing a strong piece of fiction. In fact, it comes up so much that it can seem cliché; however, it is an important concept to understand.

“Show, don’t tell” involves using descriptive language to allow your reader to experience the story world, rather than explaining it to them with exposition.

Telling means exactly what it sounds like, e.g. the writer is telling the reader what happens. It uses exposition to give a basic summary of a situation. When you tell rather than show, you inform your readers of information rather than allowing them to deduce anything.

You’re supplying information by simply stating it. You might report that a character is “tall,” or “angry,” or “cold,” or “tired.”

That’s telling.

Showing means that the writer is immersing the reader in a scene as it unfolds. Showing is more subtle and tends to be more engaging for the reader. It leaves space for the reader to draw conclusions and form their own interpretations. Rather than telling the reader that your character is angry, show it by describing his voice rising, his face flushing, or his slamming a fist on the table. When you show, you don’t have to tell.

Here are some examples:

• Telling: Susan was cold.

• Showing: Susan pulled her collar up, tightened her scarf, and buried her hands deep inside her coat pockets.

  
  

• Telling: The house was creepy.

• Showing: At night, a faint glow appeared in the attic window, as if someone were in there—only the house had been vacant for years.

  
  

• Telling: It was a dark and stormy night.

• Showing: Rain lashed at the the rooftop and drummed against the windows, while thunder rolled low and heavy across the sky.

  
  

PRACTICE: Imaging all the ways you can show vs. tell when describing the image above.

Telling leans toward being surface-level writing. It is the narrative that moves the reader from scene to scene. Showing forms the basis of deeper writing; it gets the reader under the surface and develops each moment from inside the scene. Showing involves a sense of experience and more visceral details. When details are shown, the reader is inside the character's head. These details help the reader paint a picture of what’s going on, both internally and externally, in the narrative.

Tips to Help You Avoid Telling

1. Use dialogue - Good dialogue breaks up narrative summary, differentiates characters (through word choice and dialect), and allows a story to develop naturally without you, the writer, spelling out every single detail.

   
   

2. Appeal to your reader's senses - Used wisely, suggestive imagery can help you grab your readers’ attention and transport them to a different world. There’s nothing quite like the human imagination.

Examples:

1. Sight: Covered in soot, Jonathan carried his daughter from the blaze.

2. Sound: A child's laughter broke the silence.

3. Smell: Apple and cinnamon wafted from the kitchen.

4. Taste: Her lips puckered as the lemon touched her tongue.

5. Touch: The soft sand on the beach gave Maria's feet a gentle massage.

3. Use action verbs instead of state-of-being verbs. Action verbs trigger the imaginations of your readers, allowing them to visualize your story. They show a physical or mental action happening. State-of-being verbs do not show action—they link the subject to a description.

To eliminate passive voice, eliminate as many of your state-of-being verbs as possible (is, am, are, was, were, etc.)

Examples:

Passive: The get-together was planned by Mary.

Active: Mary planned the get-together.

Passive: The birthday cake was made by Bernard.

Active: Bernard made the birthday cake.

Passive: The youth bowling league was given trophies by the coaches.

Active: The coaches gave trophies to the youth bowling league.

When Telling is Acceptable

Narrative summary is sometimes prudent, for example if you have to get your character to a location where more important action happens.

There is no need to invest several pages of your book showing every aspect of the trip from packing, dressing, catching a taxi to the airport, going through security, boarding the plane, arriving, etc. This would bore the reader. In this case, it is okay to quickly tell it this way:

He flew to New York, where he…

Then return to showing, concentrating on the action that happened after the character arrived.

In sum, learning to “show, don’t tell” will make you a stronger writer. It will make an enormous difference when it comes to planting big ideas in your readers’ minds. As a vital tool in your creative writing toolbox, “showing” your story with strong verbs and vivid details will help you develop characters, settings, and story arcs in a much more resonant way.